tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79829600305952785172024-03-05T06:53:36.374-05:00Writer in LimboA blog full of random musings of an English PhD student who still has no idea what to do with her life, or where to go. Sometimes funny, often pathetic, always honest.WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-50937442897582454722012-10-18T04:28:00.000-04:002012-10-18T04:37:59.093-04:00I Met the Devil Last NightI didn't think I'd last a year here. I didn't think I'd survive a month, to be honest, and a year seemed so impossible that it wasn't even worth contemplating.
But I did it. I survived a year.
More than a year, technically. A year was August 1st. But now is when it really feels like it's been a year.
Maybe it's because I'm so deeply entrenched in school work and all WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-79088722768873983572012-09-20T01:05:00.001-04:002012-09-20T01:22:33.282-04:00DreamsLast night my subconscious brutalized me. I woke up shaking with rage, and texted my boyfriend, telling him that it was a good thing he had been called to work and wasn't lying next to me when I struggled out of unconsciousness. I would have hurt him. I'm fairly sure the pillow was begging for mercy.
The dream itself has dissolved, and is nothing more now than a series of WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-60936842498804305272012-08-02T23:35:00.001-04:002012-08-02T23:41:35.432-04:00It Is NOT About Free SpeechOkay, somehow, people are mightily confused about this whole Chick-Fil-A controversy. I'm tired of arguing about it in multiple forums, so I'm just going to write this, and then be done with it. Any further arguments are going to be redirected here.
Statement 1: Do your research people. The LGBT community and its allies aren't up-in-arms because Dan Cathy made a bunch of WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-47814506316650215712012-07-22T00:25:00.004-04:002012-07-22T13:04:04.947-04:00All Good Dogs Go to Heaven
Tobias "Toby" Singer, 2001-2012
Today Tobias "Toby" Singer went to his rightful place in dog heaven. Bone cancer and the unfortunate gene-curse of pure-bred golden retrievers finally claimed one of the sweetest dogs I've ever known. Even though he went blind three years ago, and his exuberant nature was somewhat dimmed, he never became a mean or cranky or bad dog.
He really was a WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-89739924239075190342012-04-06T03:41:00.001-04:002012-04-06T03:41:07.820-04:00Barbarian Camps in LifeIt would be fantastic if someone could tell me why life must be so very, very complicated. What is it about life that must - absolutely MUST - sneak up behind you, just when you're walking blithely down the street, whistling Adele, and shank you? Why, why, why, why, why?
No, I'm not frustrated. I'm confused, irritated, nervous, and at this particular moment, full-on scared. &WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-58571607152749671272012-04-01T04:12:00.001-04:002012-04-01T12:31:29.536-04:00Self-Definition and RelationshipsRelationships are strange things, aren't they? The thin, tenuous threads that bind human existence into a delicate, almost nebulous whole, linking every person to another - no man is an island, and all that - they're strange threads, and perhaps the Greeks and Romans had it right. The three Fates weave us all together, and to pull on one strand of the web is to inevitably disturb WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-26599808966907378732012-03-14T17:39:00.000-04:002012-03-14T17:39:33.968-04:00When A Bad Dog Went Really Bad
Ceri - January, 2007 - March 5, 2012
Even though it happened over a week ago now, I still haven't found a way to talk about it. It doesn't seem like it should hurt that much, but it really, really does. So much, in fact, that I've adopted my I-can't-deal-with-this strategy: I stop thinking about it, shove it to the back of my mind-attic, and pile furniture and boxes and old clothesWriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-33334898591769243992012-03-02T02:20:00.004-05:002012-03-02T02:37:23.482-05:00Writer's Block"The night was sultry." And so begins - or ends - one of my all-time favorite movies. That's right. Throw Momma from the Train. It's a fantastic movie, and if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It really is hilarious. The premise behind that line is the whole notion of writer's block, and for the writer who finally manages to craft it, it's a struggle WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-35528194413426513882012-02-22T04:26:00.000-05:002012-02-22T04:29:48.429-05:00What is real life?So I was just watching an episode of Scrubs. It's from the second season, and it's the one where they get Jill Tracy to do the cover of Colin Hay's "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin". It's pretty amazing just how much that particular line - not even the entire song, just that one line - really epitomizes my attitude towards my life, and how, surprisingly, that hasn't changed, WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-44531249481680567572012-01-17T14:51:00.000-05:002012-01-17T14:51:01.204-05:00My Life in MusicMy life has a soundtrack. This became abundantly clear to me the other day when I was thinking about the fact that although my musical taste has grown - evolved - since I was a kid (like a real kid, 10 or so, since
I'm quite old now), I still like much of what I did then, and that music has always had an incredibly evocative power. It works both ways - I hear a song, and it WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-9537954503505954232012-01-05T15:23:00.000-05:002012-01-05T15:29:28.237-05:00I DO judge you when you use poor grammar.Over the last few weeks, I have spent a fair amount of time engaged in arguments with a friend about language. Specifically, proper vs. improper usage of punctuation, "adverbjatives" (that's his, not mine), prepositions, and all the other pitfalls and minefields of modern American language.
Now, before I go any further, those of you who are howling in the background, "But you're a PhD WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-43685782877789723862011-12-20T21:15:00.001-05:002011-12-20T22:00:44.247-05:00NCAA vs. OSU - WTF?!My last post was disgusting. I mean, seriously, if I had come across that post on someone else's blog, I would have bitch-slapped the blogger. It was pure self-pity and a morass of nastiness on all fronts (sorry for the mixed metaphor). However, since I cannot quite bitch-slap myself, I'm offering up that particular pleasure to anyone who actually read that piece of total manureWriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-35844487599062649472011-12-15T06:10:00.001-05:002011-12-15T06:12:29.543-05:00AbjectionI should be writing a paper right now. Two, papers, actually, although one is really just an extension of the other, or, perhaps more accurately, the first is a condensed, more succinct version of the second. Whatever. I have approximately 35 pages of writing due Friday and Saturday. I have, of course, not yet committed a single word to paper. It's 5:30 AM on WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-15370407667546214102011-09-28T03:40:00.003-04:002011-09-28T03:52:24.062-04:00Are you enjoying grad school?I realized this evening, while sitting in a contemporary lit criticism and theory class, and not paying attention to a word that was being said, that, aside from my last desperately-worded post (which has resulted in many kind responses, and I thank everyone sincerely for their empathy and concern), I haven't said a thing about grad school, and I've been here and fully participatory (although WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-61017308482079685792011-09-19T01:04:00.003-04:002011-09-19T02:19:46.861-04:00Loneliness (Warning: Self-Pity Contained Herein)It's been a long time since I was lonely. Really alone lonely. The kind of loneliness that doesn't seem to have any edges, but expands until it dominates your entire emotional landscape. The kind of loneliness that I ran into the arms of my ex-husband to escape. The kind of loneliness that I did escape for 10 years, but which has now resumed its place in the center of my soul, opening its WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-29328061190314531112011-08-08T15:19:00.000-04:002011-08-08T16:35:48.488-04:00For Better or For WorseI do not typically tackle political or religious issues in a public forum, for many sound and unsound reasons, generally having to do with not offending people because you never know with whom you're going to need to get along, for business or social purposes, and it never hurts to not offend your friends, etc., etc., et cetera. We all know that I'm fairly argumentative, and definitely not WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-2814826088329564822011-07-20T20:57:00.000-04:002011-07-24T00:40:15.650-04:00My Breaking HeartThere are times when there are no words to express the jumbled, confused disarray of emotions that come at you in a sleet-storm. When that happens, I tend to find refuge in the word "dude". So I will once again take recourse in my comfortable, familiar epithet. Dude.I leave for Virginia one week from today. Next Saturday, July 30th, I will hop on a plane with my mom and hopefully drugged cat,WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-89764885359364460332011-06-23T15:53:00.000-04:002011-06-23T16:37:23.318-04:00Home, Sweet . . . What the Hell?Oh, my God. You have got to be kidding! How is it that it is so difficult to actually find livable space in Charlottesville?! This is the first strike against my new home - the fact that, though I will be leaving in FIVE WEEKS, I do not yet actually have a home.Wait, you ask. What about that place you scored when you were visiting in April?Excellent question, I answer. Let me explain.When I WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-48588391756791907542011-06-21T13:17:00.001-04:002011-06-22T03:24:33.460-04:00Getting Ready to Say Good-Bye to CaliforniaI think it's time to start the good-bye process. That's the nice thing about having a few months before you leave somewhere for an extended period of time - you can do all those "last things" that will allow you to create a series of lovely memories to take out and handle when you're feeling lonely and homesick. This last weekend - Father's Day - I enjoyed what will probably be a last Father's WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-282363731512065782011-05-14T04:39:00.001-04:002011-06-22T03:31:43.117-04:00A Visit to Virginia - Part IThe Rotunda of the University of Virginia. A statue of Homer is in the foreground.Wow. Virginia is gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. I had forgotten how much I missed greenery, but it all came home the moment we left the cocoon-like embrace of Dulles. Even though it was 6:00 in the morning (3:00 AM in my real world, the west coast), and Lindsay and I hadn't slept since the night before (why do WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-22901694630882696532011-04-15T02:30:00.000-04:002011-04-15T02:25:56.840-04:00Good-Bye, JuniorToday was a rather emotion-filled day. Well, not all of it. Just the last hour of it. The earlier part of the day was actually shit-boring-tedious, like all my days at work (which I just realized I've never discussed here . . . I'll have to do a post one day on what it's been like working as an admissions coordinator for a graduate school while doing my own admissions process to other grad WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-83810212890659379082011-04-08T19:32:00.000-04:002011-04-08T20:09:20.111-04:00Moving TraumaI have become suddenly overwhelmed by the amount of things that I need to do before I move to Virginia to start what I am coming to think of as Phase 4 of my life (Phase 1: Pre-Marriage; Phase 2: Marriage; Phase 3: Limbo; Phase 4: Grad School). Why suddenly? Yes, that's an excellent question. It shouldn't be sudden. I have known for a full week now (oh, dear God, has it only been a week? WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-51318673104196880662011-04-04T21:51:00.000-04:002011-04-04T22:32:50.846-04:00Accepted to UVA!Wow. So much has happened since my last post, and I'm still not sure that I've really processed it. I mean, I've talked it over with other people, I've sat here thinking about it, but I don't think I've really, REALLY processed it -- despite the fact that I've started a "To Do" list for it.I was accepted to the University of Virginia. That exceptionally nice email that I got from Dr. Braden WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-65866196157029886952011-03-16T01:01:00.000-04:002011-03-16T02:17:38.307-04:00The Waiting ListSo I've spent the last few days shouting all those imbecilic things that people shout when they're really happy -- "Yee-ha!" "Woo-hoo!" "Yahoooooo!" Why? I shall tell you why. It's story time, children.On Sunday, I received an email from the Director of Graduate Admissions at the University of Virginia. Dr. Professor Gordon Braden. (Okay, just Dr. or Prof. -- this isn't Germany.) It WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7982960030595278517.post-34685908985541646502011-02-20T15:18:00.000-05:002011-02-20T15:55:11.771-05:00Three EmotionsSo, lately I've been experiencing one of three emotions: a sick, desperately-certain terror that takes up residence in the pit of my stomach, engendered by the knowledge that I will not be accepted to any of the seven schools to which I applied; a wild, flaring hope that is almost worse than the sick feeling, because it brings with it its own nausea, and I have to block out everything else in WriterinLimbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13990282576061513992noreply@blogger.com0